Today was tough. The Universe offered me an opportunity for some personal growth and I’m not sure if I’m up for the lesson, but I’m trying.
After a deflating court appointment that concluded only partially in my favor without even so much as a hearing, I was in dire need of some meditation therapy. Seeing the Corporal has been having a negative, draining effect on my psyche and afterwards I need to recharge.
After taking a time out to talk with a friend who helped to calm me down, he suggested that I take a few minutes to visit the big parking garage in the middle of town.
“It’s the best view in town,” he said. “I go up there to think and get above it all.”
I knew he was right. I had ridden my bicycle to the top of that 6-story garage more times than I could count and loved the view of our charming little town from up there.
So, I decided to take my friends’ advice and, after a good calming conversation, I drove my car to the top floor of the parking garage.
It was a gorgeous day; bright blue sky with big, white, pillowy clouds floating effortlessly overhead towards some far off destination. The wind blew through my hair almost giving it a joyful life of its own. The smell of early Spring was in the air… a mix of warm & wet earth, fresh water and early season flowers.
I sat on the top of my car, played some calming music, closed my eyes and listened. I listened to the sound of the melodies that helped to soften my mood, to the sound of my breath, the birds, the wind, the sounds of traffic flowing and the tiny voices of people going about their lives far below me.
My mind was fully present and, while thoughts of the Corporal, my upsetting legal issues and the many other problems that have been taking over my life entered into my mind, I was able to watch them more than engage with them. This simple practice gave me the clarity to observe the thoughts and identify the feelings associated with them. The initial feelings I had were mostly of fear, anxiety, frustration and anger.
Then, something wonderful began to happen. The more I watched my thoughts rather than engaging with them, the more I began to see that there was a great deal of love, joy and gratitude hanging out in there too. The storm in my mind began to calm and the clouds parted, letting light shine in. Even if this feeling lasted for only a very brief moment in my long and troubling day, it was impactful.
Meditation is making an incredible difference in my mind and my life at a time when I really need to bring in some sanity and clarity. I know I have a long way to go, but I look forward to the journey and love the time that I am enjoying now.
Namaste Beautiful Hearts <3