The holiday season can be a beautiful time of celebration and connection, but it can also bring a whirlwind of pressure to spend, acquire, and consume. The allure of buying more—more gifts, more decorations, more “status”—is deeply woven into our cultural fabric, and can leave many of us feeling unfulfilled despite our efforts to create joy.

What if this year, we paused to ask ourselves a different question: What are we really seeking in the things we buy?

When Shopping Becomes a Coping Mechanism

For many of us, shopping isn’t just about acquiring necessities or even thoughtful gifts—it becomes a way to cope with feelings of emptiness, stress, or inadequacy.  The thrill of a new purchase can deliver a temporary rush of dopamine, filling a void for a fleeting moment. But when that rush fades, the emptiness returns, leading to a cycle of overspending and accumulating more than we truly need.

This cycle isn't a personal failing—it’s a response to deeper wounds.

• Trauma and Over-Consumption: Many of us turn to material items to soothe feelings of lack or to prove our worth, especially if we’ve experienced scarcity, rejection, or unmet emotional needs in the past.
• The Illusion of Status: Advertising and societal pressures have conditioned us to equate what we own with who we are. From luxury brands to the latest trends, we’re sold the idea that happiness, success, and love can be purchased—when in reality, these feelings have to be nurtured from within.

Breaking free from this cycle begins with compassion for ourselves. Recognizing over-consumption as a trauma response allows us to approach it not with judgment, but with curiosity and care.

Heal the Void with Conscious Choices

Let me invite you to consider stepping away from your usual frenzy of consumerism this holiday season. Instead, ask yourself what it might look like to turn inward and explore what truly brings you peace, joy, and connection. By shifting our focus, we can heal our own hearts and our relationship with the earth.

1. Reflect on Your Intentions

• Ask yourself: Am I buying this to fill a void? To prove something? Or to bring genuine joy to myself or someone else?
• Journaling can help uncover deeper motivations and allow you to set intentions aligned with your values.

2. Embrace Sustainable Giving

Conscious gift-giving isn’t about deprivation—it’s about reimagining abundance in ways that nurture both people and the planet:

• Experiences Over Objects: Give the gift of time, whether it’s a shared adventure, a cozy evening together, or tickets to a special event.
• Homemade Gifts: Create something meaningful, like a batch of cookies, a photo album, or a handwritten letter. I make and hand out homemade caramel corn to my loved ones at Christmas and everyone looks forward to it. These gifts carry love and meaning.
• Support Ethical Brands: When buying your gifts, choose companies that prioritize sustainability, fair labor, and eco-friendly materials.
• Offer a Donation in Their Name: Contribute a donation to an organization  (or to adopt wildlife like the WWF) on someone's behalf. Different organizations offer different ways to say thank you, like a plushie of the adoption animal, or the ability to track an animal that your donations go to support.

3. Simplify Your Holiday Decor

• Use natural, biodegradable materials like evergreens, pinecones, and dried fruit to create warm, inviting spaces. Try looking back at historical decorations that were made from natural materials.
• Repurpose items you already own or swap decorations with friends for a fresh look without buying new.

Recognize the Influence of Consumer Culture

It’s important to recognize that the desire to buy more isn’t entirely our fault. Modern marketing has spent decades perfecting ways to prey on our insecurities and create artificial desires. Ads whisper that we’re not enough as we are—that the solution to our discomfort lies in what we can own.

But true healing comes from stepping outside this narrative. By nurturing ourselves, connecting with others, and honoring the planet, we reclaim our power. We begin to fill the void with things that matter: love, purpose, and a sense of belonging.

Healing the Planet as We Heal Ourselves

The effects of over-consumption don’t end with us—they ripple out into the world. Fast fashion, single-use plastics, and mass production all contribute to environmental degradation. But just as our personal choices have an impact, so does our healing.

When we choose simplicity, sustainability, and mindfulness, we help nurture the earth. We demonstrate that joy doesn’t come from excess but from meaningful connection—with ourselves, each other, and the planet we share.

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